Undetected ( A Poem)

The Bareness

it hurts me still.

much like lucid drips from

the gold plated bathroom pipes

or the rushing water in the sink

 

But is it all?

 

what is it, that panders my heart

that cries beneath the burning ember

of this fall sky.

 

Why do I search

and heave my feet

through the piled of antiquated leaves

Below me on the street

the corpses rush too and fro

from work, to school

and home again

 

I would join them

only I am inclined to remain

on the other side

of the glass.

 

I would hold their hands

and guide their weary souls

to pit stops

and bus stops

and tire tracks in the snow

 

But there is little that these tired hands

do no know.

 

and a pen it thrills and excites

my heart to throbbing now

not even for the sake

of a gasping air

that escapes my throat

and goes undetected still.

 

I have lived with you

both friend and foe

for more than twenty years

you assail the very tenues

of my cracking bones

 

So much so

that I have begun to look like you,

I think.

 

To speak and act the way you do

to live and lie and creep

on me.

on my

where our pillow lay.

 

Only you stop my breathe

more often than I can say

and I sleep with you

at the base of my bed

where my head would lay.

 

I hear the tub,

it’s filling up

and I can see blues

and hues of red

and yellow

and something dark and lovely still

 

Only I can feel

warm and hot

and heated here

without knowing

what comes next

 

I plotted it all once.

Wrote my name in red ink

sticky bloody messy thing

 

that not even the children

would want.

 

I wrote for dad and mom and sis

and aunt and cousin all at once

Paid due respects.

for the lights turned dim

and carried off.

 

I wonder about the missing

would my name be draped in it

this word

and what of it

that causes people

to render tears into napkins

 

when it is no longer there

 

and can anyone understand

the roadmap of my fears

 

or letters written at seventeen

and then twenty one

and twenty four again

 

and how my feet go first

and then my arms

and then my chest

and my eyes, my nose

straight to the rim of my forehead

 

until everything is so beautiful

and wonderful and peaceful there

 

and I romanticize the kiss of you

on my aching body still

and how you luxuriate the pelvis of me

kissing me down

for there are no cares here

no need for next year

or tomorrow

only today.

 

no sorrow.

 

But I love it still

like teeth that bite down

far too hard against their molten tongue

and Eyes that reach this verse of mines

could not understand still

till all was silenced

and gone astray

and all the body lay.

 

As if for nothing.

and nothing is what I ate,

a everything went down

a fire light

a lamp bouquet

and a bathroom tile

that calls my name

 

and holds me still

loving me as it will.

 

~Melodic Rose~

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